1. Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.
2. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
3. Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
4. Some say the glass is half empty, Some say the glass is half full, I say "are you gonna drink that?"
5. As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
6. Beauty is power; a smile is its sword.
7. It's better to lose a lover than love a loser.
8. All generalizations are false, including this one.
9. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is.
10. Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call fine print.
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