1. I think almost every hotel in America has a big swimming *fool.* [Pronunciation Mistake]
2. I hugged my girlfriend and then I *defarted.* [Pronunciation Mistake]
3. A male colleague of mine is forever asking me if i want to go for a drink "after the job"!! I've tried telling him it's "after work" but he insists on making the same mistake over and over again!
4. An Italian colleague told me she wanted to change the "shits"(sheets) on her bed!! They have problems with a double "ee" sound!
5. Another German colleague told me he'd been to the opticians and needed a new pair of eyes!(glasses perhaps?).
6. My wife when organising a party with finger food told all my friends that we would be having just nipples ( nibbles ) to eat.[Most excited we all were]
7. My mother in law was talking about a helpful lady that we met at the Finanzamt (had to sort out Umsatzsteur, that's always fun) and she said:"She seems like a very nice wife."Well, I wonder if her husband agrees... anyways, I guess it's because Frau means woman and wife in German... anyways, I laughed and told her about her mixup. A mistake I made when speaking German. A friend of my wife called us while my wife wasn't available for the phone. I, in my limited German, tried to speak to her (the friend speaks no English). Anyways, I understood that she needed a ride if she were to come and visit.
So I said:"Brauchst du eine fährt?" Thinking this was the correct way to phrase it (using the wrong form of the word farhen). Well, my pronunciation is always a little messed up since I'm learning, so I guess the way it sounded was "Brauchst du eine pferd." On the other end of the line, I think I heard her rolling around and nearly peeing her pants with laughter. Anyways... at least I made someone laugh. Eventually she answered me with "Nein. Ich brauche ein Pfarrer." with an emphasis on Pfarrer. Good thing I guess, because I happened to be fresh out of Pferde at the time.
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