Very Funny Smart Quotes and Sayings

1. A lot of beautiful people are stupid. There’s a tremendous amount of idiots who look so good. It’s frightening.

2. If aliens are looking for intelligent life?! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED?!

3. A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

4. It’s good to be clever, but not to show it.

5. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

6. A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
- George Eliot

7. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
- Anonymous.

8. Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

9. To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.
- Voltaire

Very Funny Short Sayings and Quotes

1. It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

2. I say no to drugs, but they don’t listen.

3. You can’t just let nature run wild.

4. Being cool, is not trying to be cool.

5. Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain

6. I am short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
- Woody Allen

7. ARCHITECT is One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
- Ambrose Bierce

8. Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

9. To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.
- Gustave Flaubert

Short Funny Sayings and Quotes

1. If you want your dreams to come true, don't sleep.

2. From the bottom plate of a lap top: DANGEROUS! DON’T SCREW OFF!

3. A song from your lips is an aria from heaven.

4. Whether you think you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.

5. All this could be yours for one low, low price!

6. What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. -Mark Twain

7. The bandage was wound around the wound.

8. The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.

9. Woman want me, Fish fear me.

10. To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States. -George W. Bush