1. A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns.
2. They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
3. I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few.
4. If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
5. Guy: “Haven’t we met before?”
Lady: “Maybe. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”
6. How can 'You're so cool' and 'You're not so hot' be different?
7. A day without sun shine is like, you know, night.
8. If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
9. A drunk mans’ words are a sober mans’ thoughts.
10. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.