Smart Funny Sayings

1. Girls improve their looks not their mind, because they know guys are stupid, not blind.

2. And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. - Abraham Lincoln

3. Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W.C. Fields (Mississippi, 1935)

4. He who laughs first laughs last — if nobody laughs in the middle.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything. - Frank Dane

7. Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'.

8. Due to the shortage of great leaders, I have decided to follow myself.

9. The world is divided into people who do things--and people who get the credit.

10. If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

Very Funny Sayings

1. Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.

2. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

3. Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

4. Some say the glass is half empty, Some say the glass is half full, I say "are you gonna drink that?"

5. As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...

6. Beauty is power; a smile is its sword.

7. It's better to lose a lover than love a loser.

8. All generalizations are false, including this one.

9. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is.

10. Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call fine print.